FIFA's epic lulz

FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Fri May 27, 2011 6:25 pm

Probably deserves a new thread. It's kind of widened from just lol World Cup bids now.

Fifa president Sepp Blatter under investigation
11:12 GMT, Friday, 27 May 2011

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13574338.stm

Fifa has opened an ethics investigation against its president, Sepp Blatter.

The action follows a charge by Mohamed Bin Hammam, his rival in next week's presidency election, that Blatter knew about alleged cash payments.

Bin Hammam and vice-president Jack Warner will also be at Sunday's hearing to answer charges of bribery.

Blatter issued a statement saying: "I cannot comment on the proceedings that have been opened against me. The facts will speak for themselves."

The ethics committee are bound by their rules to investigate any complaint by an executive committee member under article 16 of the ethics code.

Bin Hammam and Warner face allegations from executive committee member Chuck Blazer that they offered bribes at a meeting of the Caribbean Football Union (CFU) on 10 and 11 May.

A file of evidence claims bundles of cash of up to $40,000 were handed over to members of the CFU at the meeting in Trinidad.


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Fifa needs to take the opportunity to change - Hugh Robertson
In turn, Bin Hammam is effectively claiming Blatter was aware of some wrongdoing but did not report it, in itself a breach of the code.

The committee, chaired by Namibian judge Petrus Damaseb, will also be investigating two other CFU officials - Debbie Minguell and Jason Sylvester.

Bin Hammam issued a statement via his website on Friday concerning the "increasing evidence of a conspiracy against his candidacy" and attempted to clear up the bribery allegations made against him.

"After having analysed and answered the accusations of bribery made against Mohamed Bin Hammam, it seems obvious that they are without substance," the statement read.

"It is true that Mr Bin Hammam addressed representatives of the CFU at an extraordinary meeting in Port of Spain, Trinidad on May 10 and 11. Nobody has ever tried to hide the fact that Mr Bin Hammam paid for the delegates' travel and accommodation expenses and covered the meeting's administrative costs.

"Mr. Bin Hammam reiterates that any allegations about him trying to buy votes are completely false.

"It is quite obvious that, following previous failed attempts, this is part of a final effort to prevent Mr. Bin Hammam from running for the Fifa presidency."

The move to place Blatter, one of the most powerful men in football, under investigation is the latest twist in an increasingly bitter fight for the presidency of the sport's global governing body.

And it also follows weeks of damaging headlines and allegations in the wake of the vote for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

BBC sports editor David Bond said: "Fifa is now an organisation completely at war. They cannot possibly continue in this way and many people will say they should suspend the presidential election, which takes place next Wednesday.

"Under Fifa's ethics code, they are duty bound, if a member of the executive committee makes a complaint to the ethics committee, to then investigate it.

"So, it may be that the allegations against Blatter don't come to much, and the allegations against Bin Hammam and Warner could be far more serious. Ultimately it seems the evidence against Blatter is only Bin Hammam's word against his.

"It is very difficult to predict exactly what will happen next, but it's hard to see this as anything other than a watershed moment for Fifa.

"It feels like at last the dam is breaking around them. It is a bit like the scene at the end of Reservoir Dogs when everyone has a gun pointed at each other's heads."

Blatter has been president of Fifa since 1998. Michel Platini, the president of European football's governing body, Uefa, who is tipped to run for the Fifa presidency in four years' time, described the latest development as "a very interesting moment".

He said there would only be a postponement of Wednesday's presidential elections if three-quarters of Fifa's general assembly agreed.

But sports minister Hugh Robertson was in no doubt that the election should be postponed.

"The Fifa presidential election campaign has descended into a farce," he said. "With both of the candidates having allegations of corruption aimed at them the election should be suspended."

Platini, whose organisation have thrown their weight behind Blatter's bid for re-election, described himself as "incorruptible".

"You know the people who are corrupt, they know who can be corruptible," he said. "They know I am incorruptible."

He also argued that corruption was an issue not only in football, but the whole of society. "Football is the most beautiful and popular game in the world and we have to resolve these problems," he said.

"[But] it is not only a fight in football. Football is a mirror for the society and what happens in football can arrive in every part of the society."

Meanwhile, an FA inquiry into claims by ex-chairman, Lord Triesman, that Warner and three other executive committee members made improper requests during England's 2018 World Cup bid has found evidence of several possible rules breaches.

The report, written by barrister James Dingemans QC, has been sent to Fifa and raises "outstanding issues" with Fifa's ethics code and bidding rules.

It is understood that only the claims against Warner have been corroborated by witnesses.

The claim that Warner asked for financial help to build an education centre has been backed up by Premier League chairman Sir Dave Richards, while Dingemans' file also includes an email from Warner to Triesman asking the FA to pay for Haiti's World Cup TV rights.

An FA spokesman said: "Mr Dingemans cannot make a final determination on whether there has been any wrongdoing because he does not have jurisdiction to speak to the Fifa executive committee members.

"It is for Fifa to do this and for Fifa to determine whether any of its rules have been breached."

It would be flipping fantastic if Blatter, Bin Hammam, and Warner all got toppled from this.

Just give it to Michel Platini and be done with it.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby the_full_monty » Sat May 28, 2011 9:30 am

A corrupt organisation investigating some corrupt people for some widely-known corruption. They should replace FIFAs logo with the Ouroboros.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Sun May 29, 2011 2:25 am

Bin Hammam Out Of Election
May 29 2011 11:51
http://au.fourfourtwo.com/News/205192,b ... ction.aspx

MOHAMMED bin Hammam has withdrawn from the FIFA presidential election, he has announced in a statement on his website.

Bin Hammam had been due to face a FIFA ethics committee later today following allegations of bribery and that had left next week's election for the presidency in doubt.

Hammam had entered the election in opposition to current president Sepp Blatter but he is now unopposed in his bid for re-election.

Blatter is still due to face the ethics committee, along with Bin Hammam and FIFA vice-president Jack Warner. Bin Hammam and Warner face charges of bribery.

But the attendance of Bin Hammam at hearing could also be in doubt following his decision to withdraw from the presidential election.

Bin Hammam had campaigned on a promise to make FIFA more transparent but there now looks to be no need for a vote following his decision to withdraw.

Bin Hammam said in his statement: "I made the decision to run for the FIFA presidency because I was and remain committed to change within FIFA.

"I set out my goals and ambitions clearly - to further the cause of democracy within FIFA - through a commitment to transparency and accountability; through a commitment to expand the number of officials and nations involved in decision-making processes.

"In addition to this, I wanted to spark a debate about change in FIFA. For the good of football, I wanted the future to be bright for our world's governing body and for it to adapt to the ever-changing world we live in today.

"However, recent events have left me hurt and disappointed - on a professional and personal level.

"It saddens me that standing up for the causes that I believed in has come at a great price - the degradation of FIFA's reputation. This is not what I had in mind for FIFA and this is unacceptable.

"I cannot allow the name that I loved to be dragged more and more in the mud because of competition between two individuals.

"The game itself and the people who love it around the world must come first.

"It is for this reason that I announce my withdrawal from the presidential election.

"I will not put my personal ambition ahead of FIFA's dignity and integrity.

"Besides, I believe my candidacy has been a catalyst for debate within FIFA and has brought change to the top of the agenda.

"I pray that my withdrawal will not be tied to the investigation held by the FIFA Ethics Committee as I will appear before the Ethics Committee to clear my name from the baseless allegations that have been made against me.

"I promise those who stood by me that I will walk with my head held high and will continue to fight for the good of the game.

"I would like to offer my thanks and appreciation to all Member Associations and individuals who supported me. I hope that they will not receive my decision with disappointment and frustration.

"I have a special thank you to my friend and colleague Jack Warner for his unlimited support. I am sorry to see that he has to suffer because of me, but I am promising him that I will be with him all the way through thick and thin.

"I look forward to working closely with my colleagues to restore FIFA's reputation to what it should be - a protector of the game that has credibility through honesty, transparency and accountability."

On the whole good news. But so far that just means Blatter will stick around.

Hopefully the investigation into him reveals all as well so he has to step down.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Max2147 » Sun May 29, 2011 7:35 pm

Bin Hammam and Warner have been suspended by FIFA.

I wonder if any of this will lead back to the World Cup bids. Warner was at the center of some of the controversy surrounding that as well.

It's also interesting that the whistleblower in this case is the American FIFA rep, Chuck Blazer. That gives the accusations some extra credibility, since the US federation has a pretty clean reputation. Blazer is Warner's deputy in CONCACAF and has been a Warner ally for years, but supposedly Warner was involved with some of the corruption that saw Qatar beat the US to the 2022 bid. That could explain why Blazer turned on him so suddenly.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby The Ghost Who Walks » Sun May 29, 2011 7:54 pm

Max2147 wrote:Chuck Blazer

Surely that's not his real name :lol:
The 12th man would have a field day with these guys!
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Max2147 » Mon May 30, 2011 6:35 am

Max2147 wrote:I wonder if any of this will lead back to the World Cup bids. Warner was at the center of some of the controversy surrounding that as well.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13592684.stm

That didn't take long.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Tue May 31, 2011 5:49 am

PRESS Association Sport has obtained a picture of the money a Caribbean football official says he was offered after a presentation by FIFA presidential candidate Mohamed bin Hammam.

The money, as the picture clearly shows, was delivered in a brown envelope with the name of the Bahamas FA on it.

Inside the envelope was 40,000 US dollars in crisp, new 100-dollar bills - four packs each of 10,000 dollars.

Meanwhile...
FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke confirmed today that an email he sent suggesting the 2022 World Cup was "bought" was genuine.

The email was made public by banned FIFA vice-president Jack Warner in a blistering attack on the world governing body.

According to Warner, the email from Valcke to him stated: "For MBH, I never understood why he was running.

"If really he thought he had a chance or just being an extreme way to express how much he does not like anymore JSB [Blatter]. Or he thought you can buy FIFA as they bought the WC."

Meanwhile...
Blatter said, however, that there had been no evidence brought forward to back up the claims and that there was no threat to the tournament taking place in Qatar, while Valcke insisted he was not accusing the 2022 bid of unethical behaviour.

Blatter said: "I believe that the decision which we took for the World Cup 2022 was done exactly in the same pattern and environment as we have made on the World Cup 2018 and there was no problem for the FIFA executive committee to act in this direction, there is not issue for the World Cup 2022."

Epic. Lulz.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Travis Daye » Tue May 31, 2011 6:06 am

It would be epic lulz if anything would actually be done about it. And I doubt there will. Everyone always knew what was going on, yet FIFA lacks any sort of self-corrective mechanism. There will always be people willing to accept money in return for any sort of support, and who are also willing to take the risk of becoming the symbolic victim of a mock purging of the organisation.

The only way to get rid of Blatter is through some sort of revolution. And I'm afraid too many people like Mr Blatter's money too much. And even if they manage to get rid of him, FIFA won't become squeaky clean overnight.

I sincerely hope the FA will decide to break away from FIFA, though I doubt that will ever happen.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:32 pm

Fifa president Sepp Blatter has been voted in for a fourth term in office.

The 75-year-old Swiss was the only candidate in Wednesday's election, with the English and Scottish Football Associations failing to delay the vote.

They wanted a postponement amid allegations of corruption within Fifa, but were only supported by 17 of the member associations.

Blatter was seen leaving the press conference dragging a large rug and holding a broom.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby the_full_monty » Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:47 pm

Our belated attempt at petulance alas failed to instill a significant enough sense of petulance throughout FIFA to overthrow the king. :(
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Sun Jun 05, 2011 2:16 am

THE power struggle at CONCACAF continued today after acting president Lisle Austin was provisionally banned for an alleged rule violation.

The Barbados official has been acting as president of the North, Central American and Caribbean governing body in Jack Warner's absence.

FIFA's ethics committee suspended Warner from all football-related activity pending the outcome of a full inquiry into bribery accusations made by fellow executive committee member Chuck Blazer.

Just too funny.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Max2147 » Sun Jun 05, 2011 8:15 am

Of all the people to come in and help FIFA in their time of peril, this was not somebody I expected: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/13659901.stm
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Rob » Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:17 pm

just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13674764.stm

BBC wrote:Sepp Blatter will not start 2022 Qatar World Cup probe


Re-elected Fifa president Sepp Blatter will not initiate an investigation into Qatar's successful bid to host the 2022 World Cup.

But the Swiss added he would not block Fifa's ethics or solutions committees should either body want an inquiry.

Qatar's victory is under scrutiny after an email from a Fifa official emerged claiming the event had been "bought".

"I don't know why we should go in [on Qatar] - then we shall go to all [World Cup hosts]," Blatter told CNN.

The controversy around the Qatar bid team's victory was fuelled when suspended Fifa vice-president Jack Warner made public an email from general secretary Jerome Valcke.
Continue reading the main story


Valcke subsequently claimed he had used the word "bought" casually in reference to the financial clout of Qatar's bid and was not suggesting any impropriety.

The Sunday Times newspaper had previously claimed that Fifa executive committee members Issa Hayatou and Jacques Anouma were paid $1.5m [£916,000] to vote for the Gulf state.

Blatter, who secured his fourth term as Fifa president unopposed after being cleared by the body's ethics committee of any knowledge of any alleged bribery, is unconvinced by the evidence against Qatar.

"I don't know why we should open something because somebody has said something towards Qatar," he added.

"If this committee of solutions or the ethics committee have the impression that they should do something then let them take the decisions."

Opera great Placido Domingo, along with former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger and Dutch football legend Johan Cruyff, feature on the new solutions committee that is part of Blatter's response to allegations of corruption.

"These gentlemen are more or less advisers," explained Blatter.

"What they should be also is the kind of council of wisdom - which my executive committee would not like because they think they are the council of wisdom."



is it possible to talk about this guy without using darned expletives?
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:11 am

How unexpected.

Meanwhile, fearing that after the Qatar inaction statement there wouldn't be any epic lulz today, Septic Bladder stepped up to the plate:
SEPP Blatter has announced that Spanish opera singer Placido Domingo is his somewhat bizarre choice to advise FIFA on their problems.

Domingo will join 88-year-old former US secretary of state Henry Kissinger and ex-Holland international Johann Cruyff as FIFA's advisers.

Blatter told CNN: "These gentlemen are more or less advisers, they are not the experts but advisers.

"They should be a kind of 'council of wisdom' which my executive committee would not like because they think they are the council of wisdom!

"I have also contacted the Spanish singer... Placido Domingo - he is happy, he is proud that he is part, and Kissinger also. People say he is an old man, but he is a wise man."

It just doesn't stop.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Rob » Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:22 pm

it's definitely seeming as though Blatter hates the media spotlight, then does exactly the sorts of things that invite scrutiny, with his originally proposed 2022 investigation simply being a power play to force bin Hammam out of the election

even if he and the people he's surrounded by are not corrupt in any way, that was still a dick move of immense proportions
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Mon Jun 20, 2011 3:34 pm

HEADLINE WIN!

Jack Off FIFA As Warner Quits
http://au.fourfourtwo.com/news/207122,j ... quits.aspx

JACK Warner, the man at the centre of the FIFA bribery scandal, has resigned from all his positions in international football.

Warner, the longest-serving member of FIFA's executive committee, had been suspended pending the outcome of a bribery inquiry.

FIFA said the ethics committee procedures against him "have been closed and the presumption of innocence is maintained".

It all gone rather predictably quiet.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby Max2147 » Sun Jul 03, 2011 9:56 am

Different topic, but in the same vein as FIFA's totally f*cking up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0c2alWQ1Io

From the Women's World Cup: Try to spot the handball!
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Mon Jul 04, 2011 3:23 am

Max2147 wrote:Different topic, but in the same vein as FIFA's totally f*cking up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0c2alWQ1Io

From the Women's World Cup: Try to spot the handball!

Yeah, I can't see what you're talking about at all :P:P:P:P.
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Re: FIFA's epic lulz

Postby MonteCristo » Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:05 am

Max2147 wrote:Different topic, but in the same vein as FIFA's totally f*cking up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0c2alWQ1Io

From the Women's World Cup: Try to spot the handball!

Meanwhile, that's almost as funny as this: http://www.ghanasoccernet.com/ghana-sus ... world-cup/
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